Show Me the Love

We spend our entire lives searching for one thing. Love. There are many forms of love such as the love for a spouse, love of science, love of art, love of music, love for a brother or sister, love of sports, etc. In every place where love can be found sin can be found.

Music can be beautiful when it expresses God's love and love for one another while at the same time, in today's culture, music is often the expression of a life of sin. Sports show the beauty in which God has created the human body and we see God's love in our abilities to push the limits. On the other hand, sports drive competition which can lead to pride and jealousy. Science shows the intricate work of the hand of God but science is also used to try and discredit God.

There is a song by Rihanna called We Found Love. If you have never seen the music video DON"T. The music video is one of the most sinful and depressing things I have ever watched in my entire life. However, if you have never seen the cover of the same song done in Africa by Lindsey Stirling WATCH IT. It is the most hopeful beautiful things I have ever seen.

We can't escape sin because it is the sinners who need God the most. For those of you who don't know, the song God of This City was not written by Chris Tomlin. The song was actually written by an Irish band called Bluetree. Bluetree actually wrote the song in a brothel. In this video Chris Tomlin tells the story of the song. (The video is kind of long so feel free to skip to the 2:40 mark)

We find love when we bring the light of Christ to those who need it most. When we lead a sinner to the light we are seeing love flow from us, love is shown to us from them, and best of all God's love for us is magnified. The Father's love for us is magnified because we have brought his child safely back into his arms.

If they had been thinking of the land from which they had come, they would have had opportunity to return. But now they desire a better homeland, a heavenly one. Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. 

Hebrews 11:15-16

Comfort Which Comes From Discomfort

I was reflecting on the daily readings from yesterday, Thursday May 16th, and something that really stuck out to me was the end of the first reading in Acts. The Lord comes to visit Paul to tell him that that he is to travel to Rome to preach the word of God. What stuck out to me was that just before Paul had done nothing but cause chaos in Jerusalem  You might say he caused trouble and God ordered him to leave. However, it seems to me that Paul did exactly what God wanted. Paul has spoken directly to them calling them out for their misdeeds. We all have those moments when someone points out our negative behavior. As much as we want to deny it, we know it is true and this makes us very uncomfortable. We react by either changing our ways or we avoid admitting it so we argue. This is what Paul has done, he has made the people uncomfortable.

There are times when I have gone to some churches and it seems that everyone is happy as if evil does not even exist. I find that this bothers me more than it comforts me, why? Part of me, as the daughter of a physics teacher, so the law that for every action this is an equal and opposite reaction applies to every aspect in life for me. People that are always happy bother me because I find myself confused because LIFE. It ain't easy, and we all know it. Everyone has their cross to carry.

The truth is that life isn't easy. Sin draws us to things like pre-marital sex, money, drugs, or alcohol. People do these things consciously because it seems cool. Subconsciously we do these things to try to fulfill  needs but in the improper way or we use them as a means of numbing the pain which we all endure. Over time we become tolerant of the pain and we forget that it is even there. It takes someone like Paul to speak up in order to make us feel uncomfortable so that we may see the light. This post is not about the pro-life debate, that is another topic for another day, but I would like to share with you a more modern example of how we all called to bring discomfort to the world through God. This is the video of a woman who survived an abortion and how her birth created discomfort. If you do not have the time to watch the entire 10 minute video, just watch the 35 second clip from 1:35-2:10.

Now I don't mean to say that peace does not exist. Many saints and people today find their peace through their suffering  We all suffer no matter what because it is a fact of life and many of us feel alone in our suffering. My question though is why? If you have even the slightest inkling that God exists, why would you not ask him for his help? The difference between those who suffer and those who suffer yet still have peace, is not that they are stronger than us but rather, they are suffering for and with God. When you suffer for and with God you no longer have to do it alone because his loving child has freely offered his life in order to help you.

Speed Limit 65

Today I made my way home for the summer after a year of hard work at school. As I was driving home for the first leg of the trip I found myself following the general rule when it comes to driving on the highway. "Don't be the fastest, don't be the slowest, and go with the flow of traffic". Then it dawned on me, a speed limit is more that just a suggestion it's the law. At which point I slowed down so that I could be sure I did not even slightly go over the speed limit.

Once I did this I began to notice the behaviors of other cars around me, while also becoming more aware of my own driving. I came to the conclusion that you have 3 types of drivers: the grandma slow types, the "popular kids" or peer pressure type, and the carefree maniac type.

I noticed that before when I would be going over I was constantly having to check the speedometer to make sure I wasn't going TOO far over the speed limit because if I was going SUPER fast then I would get pulled over. I was trying to get away with as much as I could without getting a ticket. However, when I slowed down I seemed to instinctively know where the limit was without having to watch the speedometer.

When I did slow down many cars began to pass me. At first I felt as if I was being rude by slowing other drivers down and not going at the speed as the rest of them. Some cars would get inches behind me on my tail trying to get me to go faster. If I was close to 5 mph under I would speed up right to the speed limit but I never went any faster. No matter how fast I went the ones tailing me were never satisfied. Even if I was going over they would still be on my tail trying to get me to go faster. I eventually just had to ignore anyone who was tailing me until they passed me. There were also some drivers that were going so fast and going in between cars recklessly that I just had to avoid these cars all together even if it meant slowing down a lot. With cars like that I was just trying to not get hurt. This is kind of what I felt whenever I encountered those specific drivers:

(notice how tense the man his, his tight grip on the wheel, the stress on his face,

and how calmly Jesus is guiding him while letting the man do the driving)

All of this got me thinking about how much we push the limits with our actions. Some of us just speed past everyone without caring if we get a ticket or not. Some of us will go slightly over the limit but not too much in order to avoid any "real" punishment. Lastly, there are those who seem to be an old grandma, sticking to old rules and customs that don't "fit" with today's times.

What we forget is that those limits are there for a reason. Limits are there to protect us. The government's job is to set these limits to protect us from harm. Things like speed limits, stop signs, health codes, etc. are all there for our benefit. For that reason, even though there are some laws that are unjust, God still calls us to respect government authority.

Obedience in Authority.Let every person be subordinate to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been established by God. Therefore, whoever resists authority opposes what God has appointed, and those who oppose it will bring judgment upon themselves. Romans 13:1-2

Obviously things like limits on religious freedom are unjust but that is another topic for another time. My point here is that, whether we like it or not, we should obey the law even with something as simple as a speed limit. This is to be extended to more than just limits from the government but also limits given to us from the Authority above. God loves and cares about us and he does not want to see us hurt. I mean seriously why shouldn't we obey both God and the law?

That being said, I can proudly say that, though a car that I parked has been hit a couple of times, I have never gotten a ticket or been in an accident and I have God and speed limits to thank for that.

On a more personal and final note:

Last April my home parish dedicated a new church. It was sort of strange with it opening just before I left for college because it no longer felt like home. One day in the chapel during my last adoration before I left for school I remembered God telling me that I needed to leave for a while and then later down the road I would come back and share what I had learned with my hometown. At the time I assumed that God meant maybe 10-20 I would come back as a youth minister. I was really nervous about coming home afraid I would give in to many temptations and slack off on my Catholic faith. Most of this semester in college the weather was cloudy, rainy, and cold. However, as I made my way home the clouds were overcast and somewhat dark but the direction where I was headed, though it was cloudy, it was as bright as the sun. Clearly God was saying that what was awaiting me was something beautiful. As I crossed the city limits into my hometown I could hear one voice coming from my father up above, "Welcome Home".

The "Catholic Bubble"

During my sophomore year of high school at colorguard practice (artistic form of ROTC) one night, I tossed my rifle up in the air for a double flat toss (a double flat toss is when the rifle spins around twice in a helicopter like fashion) but when I caught it my left hand missed and the rifle hit me in the face right at my left eyebrow. It felt like I had walked into a door, there was obvious pain but after a second I knew I would be able to shake it off. However, my coach immediately yelled for everyone to stop and urgently waved me to the sideline. It was then that I noticed my hand was wet with the blood dripping from where I had been hit. I went to an urgent care facility where they gave me 10 stitches.

The doctors told me I could practice the next day but for the first 24 hours it could not be to the extent of sweating which could possibly infect the wound. I went back the next day and my friends showed me where they had washed the blood off of my rifle. The problem was I knew what toss had hit me in the head and the blood was in the wrong place. It was a month before I finally figured out that I had twisted my rifle just slightly during the part before so the rifle was flipped the wrong way when I tossed it. That little mistake led to me miscalculating where to place my hands and therefore lead to me getting hit in the face.

Anyways, after the first 24 hours I went back to practice like normal but naturally when it came to that toss I would choose not to throw the toss out of fear. Slowly I worked my way up to tossing a single flat toss and I did that for a couple weeks. It wasn't until I had figured out the mistake I had made before I finally worked up the nerves to throwing the toss again. To this day I still flinch every time I see someone throw the toss.

Now there is a point to this. Many of us Catholics I feel sometimes have a tendency to live in a "Catholic bubble", I too am guilty of this. By "Catholic bubble" I mean that we have become so focused on our faith that we surround ourselves constantly with other Catholics. This is not a bad thing, in fact it is a wonderful thing to be around such wonderful people all the time. The problem with the "Catholic bubble" sometimes is that there is a certain level of spiritual fitness that we can never reach if we never leave the bubble. In the "Catholic bubble" life is easy, right and wrong are clear, temptation is little to none, and everyone around you supports and agrees with you.

"A lot of people view faith in God as something that binds you, places outdated rules on you, and most certainly isn’t worth all the hassle. The reality is the opposite: we’re made free in surrendering our lives to God – free from sin, from chains of addiction, from baggage, etc." Aaron Hostetter

It is much easier to be a good Catholic when you are surrounded by other Catholics than those who are not.

An example of this done beautifully is the life of Saint Vitalis of Gaza. Saint Vitalis was a monk who spent his days working as a day laborer. Every night Saint Vitalis would hire a prostitute for the night. Instead of having them "work" he instead would ask them to spend the one night free of sin in turn he would often pray with the women and bring them the gospel with his words and his actions. This man lived a life of holiness and chastity despite the fact that he was surrounded by such an immense amount of sin and temptation. After his death, many converted prostitutes came out of hiding processing with candles and lanterns as his body was taken to the grave.

It is the ultimate goal to have the strength to do what is hard without getting injured, or if you will, the lantern on a hill to the rest of the world. This is also similar to a gymnast who perfects technique before attempting a difficult stunt. The "Catholic bubble" can be extremely beneficial because you can avoid injury but, at the same time, I feel as though we ought to strive for more. I have a few specific friends that I can say are some of the most devout Catholics I know although many would never know it because of who they spend their time with. These friends of mine have many friends who make poor decisions but by living a wonderful Catholic life in a non-Catholic environment they have been able to bring the word of God to those who otherwise would never hear the name of Jesus. The lives that these friends live is so beautiful because they are strong enough in their faith that they are able to go into the darkest places without injuring themselves.

I would like to close with a quote:

"Judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the heart." - Saint Vitalis